I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

A small Daoist temple atop a cluster of mountains suddenly began to emit a dazzling white light.

Two Daoists stood beside a spell formation wearing respectful expressions.

After the white light receded, eight cultivators began to materialize between heaven and earth.

The cultivator in the forefront was riding atop a giant white dog, appearing especially gallant and imposing.

“Junior Li Changsheng is honored to make your acquaintance.”

“Junior Li Yu is honored to make your acquaintance.”

“Welcome to the mortal world, immortal ambassadors!”

The two Daoists greeted the eight of them politely.

An Lin breathed in the familiar air on Earth with a joyful smile. “Thank you for your welcome, you’re free to go now, we can take care of the rest.”

The two Daoists immediately went away at his behest. They knew that there would be a group of immortal ambassadors coming here, but they did not know for what purpose.

“So this is Earth. The Spiritual Energy of Heaven and Earth here is a little bit more scarce, but it’s not a huge difference.” This was Hu Guan’s first time on Earth so he was thrilled with excitement.

At this moment, two of the eight people immediately pulled out their phones.

One of them was An Lin, the other one was Liu Qianhuan.

An Lin activated his GPS app. “We’re currently at a rural county city in the Gui Province. It’s extremely far away from our destination of Changbai Mountain.”

Liu Qianhuan blinked her bright purple eyes in shock. “Oh my God, ten new heroes? I feel like I’m so far behind the pack now!”

“It’s been three years, I wonder how all my old friends are doing,” a man with graceful features spoke with a smile.

He was Tang Ximen from the fourth year. The last time he had descended into the mortal world was back in his first year, and he had also made some friends in the mortal world at that time.

An Lin was reminded by Tang Ximen’s words and opened the WeChat app that had been relegated to a long period of disuse before opening the “All Cultivators of The World Unite To Protect Earth” group chat.

Most of the names were quite familiar to him, with the exception of about a dozen presumably new members.

The group chat was alive with a discussion at this very moment.

Green River Sword Immortal: “All the Dark Sorcery Cult members have escaped into the Five-Colored Mountain, their defensive spell formation is too solid, we can’t break through.”

Tian Lingling: “This is driving me crazy. Is there anyone in the group that can come help out? These bastards have committed atrocious crimes, we can’t allow them to live on!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “If even Green River Sword Immortal is unable to crack open the spell formation, then we can’t do anything either. We’d probably have to wait for one of the four sect leaders to arrive on the scene.”

Golden Jade: “I’ll ask if any of them is available.”

A smile surfaced on An Lin’s face as he read through the messages. This was a perfect situation for him to show off!

Thus, he sent through his first message in close to two years.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Tian Lingling, send me your location, I’ll come to help you out.”

The commotion in the group chat instantly died down.

After a full ten seconds…

Tian Lingling: “Holy f*ck!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Holy f*ck!”

Green River Sword Immortal: “Holy f*ck!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “Holy f*ck! What’s going on?”

Calm Celestial Maiden: “Are my eyes playing tricks on me?”

Golden Jade: “Did he revive himself from the dead?”

The Savior: “Did his account get hacked?”

…

The entire group chat erupted as messages flooded in at an even quicker rate than before.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “…”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Come on guys, I’ve only been away for two years!”

Tian Lingling was extremely excited: “Ahhhhhh… Fake Daoist Priest! Is that really you? I’ll send over my location straight away!”

Soon, a map location appeared in the group chat.

Daoist Wooden Ox: “Mr. An Lin, do you think you’ll be able to break through the defensive spell formation? Green River Sword Immortal is already Spirit Nurturing Intermediate Stage and even he is unable to put a dent in it.”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “No problem!”

The Savior: “Wooden Ox, have you forgotten about our battle against the Dark Wing Tribe?”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “Haha, the Poison Lord is finally making a return!”

All the cultivators in the group began to pour forth words of praise for An Lin. After all, that battle was a legendary event of which recounts had spread to countless cultivators.

White Spirit Snake: “Hi everyone, I’m rather new here, who is this Senior An Lin we’re talking about?”

A new member of the group chat entered the conversation and enquired curiously about An Lin after seeing the sensation he stirred up.

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “Haha, let me tell you about the feats of the God of our group chat.”

Soon, a series of stories appeared in the group chat under Crack Shot Clairvoyant’s handle and White Spirit Snake was instantly dumbfounded and reduced to silence.

However, An Lin had no time for this. Immediately after receiving Tian Lingling’s location, he rallied the team to set off in her direction.

An Lin: “Come on, I’ll show you what the evil cultivators on Earth are like!”

Tang Ximen: “Haha, I’ve been wanting to do some exercise. Hopefully, they won’t disappoint me.”

Liu Qianhuan: “Make it snappy, I have to go to an Internet cafe!”

Yao Mingxi and Hu Guan: “We’ll go wherever Big Brother An tells us to!”

A nervous blush appeared on Su Qianyun’s face. “Classmate An Lin… I don’t want to talk to anyone there.”

Xu Xiaolan and Xuanyuan Cheng were his old teammates, so they obviously wouldn’t dispute his decision either.

Thus, the seven of them sped toward the Five-Colored Mountain behind An Lin.

The Five-Colored Mountain was a renowned mountain in the Dian Province, and it was over two hundred kilometers away from their current location.

This seemed quite a far distance, but it would only take less than an hour for Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivators like them to arrive on the scene.

An Lin brought out his phone again on Da Bai’s back and opened the WeChat app.

There was a friend request form White Spirit Snake with a verification message that read: “Senior Poison Lord, you’re so badass, I worship you, ahhhhhhh.”

An Lin silently ignored the message. This was clearly a retarded superfan that would harass him to no end if he accepted the friend request.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Tian Lingling, I’ll be there in half an hour!”

Tian Lingling instantly replied, “Alright, we’ll be waiting outside the spell formation, but it looks like the Dark Sorcery Cult reinforcements are on their way as well, so hurry up and get there before they do.”

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “No problem, we’ll wipe everyone out once we get there!”

Tian Lingling sent through a scornful emoji and fell silent.

On the Five-Colored Mountain, a five-colored plume of mist formed a defensive barrier which enshrouded the whole mountain.

A man in an azure robe stood with a sword in his hand and looked down with a solemn expression down at the defensive formation below.

A girl with short brown hair put away her phone and spoke into her walkie talkie, “Everyone, be on your guard. The Dark Sorcery Cult reinforcements may already be on their way, make sure to report back as soon as you can if there are any mishaps.”

“Sister Lingling, are your reinforcements really reliable? My whole family’s lives depend on him,” a tender female voice came from the other side of the line.

Tian Lingling’s lips twitched with amusement. “Yeah, he’s OK, he’ll unleash some uncharacteristic display of power from time to time, but under normal circumstances, he’s just a teensy bit stronger than me.”

“Oh, I’m very relieved to hear that!” The girl on the other side of the line heaved a sigh of relief. For someone as proud as Tian Lingling to admit that the reinforcement was stronger than herself most likely meant that he was actually a lot stronger than Tian Lingling.

Meanwhile, about a dozen cultivators in rainbow-colored robes were situated within the Five-Colored Mountain, and all of them were looking toward the man in the very center of their group with nervous expressions. The man was none other than their cult leader, Jiang Peng.

“Cult leader, how much longer until our reinforcements from the Fire Poison Cult get here?” an elder couldn’t help but ask.

Jiang Peng smiled with malice. “Be at ease, the Fire Poison Cult members are just nearby and will get here in ten minutes max. When they arrive, we’ll charge out and slaughter all those accursed cultivators.”

Everyone’s expressions lightened at his words. They were extremely distressed at being trapped by the cultivators outside. The main problem was that Green River Sword Immortal was too powerful for Jiang Peng to handle alone, so they were forced into retreat.

But the arrival of the Fire Poison Cult members would change everything. After all, the cult leader of the Fire Poison Cult was also a Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivator. If the two cult leaders combined their strength, they would stand a much better chance.

Soon, Jiang Peng’s eyes began to light up.

A plume of fiery poisonous mist erupted in the distance and flew quickly toward Tian Lingling’s group, following which were around a dozen powerful cultivators in red robes.

“Hahaha, the Fire Poison Cult members are here! Let’s attack them from both sides and kill these bastards!” Jiang Peng waved his arm and yelled as everyone around him also erupted into raucous cheers.

Tian Lingling and Green River Sword Immortal had also detected the threat from behind them and their expressions shifted drastically.

“Crap, their reinforcements arrived before ours, they’re trying to vanquish us from both sides!” Tian Lingling brought out a series of talismans with a determined expression in preparation for a fight to the death.

However, right at this moment, the clouds in the sky suddenly began to warp and dissipate.

A huge white dog descended from the sky, instantly forcing the dozen or so Fire Poison Cult cultivators to the ground with its aura alone.

“Who are you?!”

The only remaining member of the Fire Poison Cult that was left standing stared up into the air with shock and yelled in incredulity.

However, he was greeted by a flashing black streak.

In the next instant, An Lin had already appeared behind him and shook the blood from his sword before stowing it away.

Blood splattered forth and the head of the Fire Poison Cult leader fell to the ground.

“You don’t look like a very good person, so I thought I’d kill you first.” An Lin shook his head before directing his gaze toward Tian Lingling. “Hi there, Tian Loli, I hope I’m not late!”

Tian Lingling opened her eyes wide with incredulity.

The Fire Poison Cult was one of the largest cults in the Southeast region, but it was completely vanquished in a single instant!

Their leader was a Spirit Nurturing Stage cultivator, but even he was insta-killed by An Lin!

Tian Lingling couldn’t help but swear out loud.

“Holy f*ck! Fake Daoist Priest, when did you become so strong!”