I'm A Spider, So What?

「Milady, in accordance with the instructions of Master Blow, the portions of your food have been reduced. Hitherto, we can no longer serve what you request. Please understand. However, please put your mind at ease. While you are staying at this castle, we shall continue to offer you morning and noon meals. We believe that our chefs efforts will most likely deliver a satisfying result.」

In short, there’ll be less food now, okay? That ain’t “okay”! Certainly, the food here is delicious. But, I need a lot too! If there’s gonna be less food, how am I going to maintain my clones huh!

Ugh, unbelievable. At this rate, death by starvation (for my clones) awaits. Can I let my clones hunt suitable monsters by themselves? No, while they’re secretly spying there’s no way I can let them. Besides, if I go all out on the monster hunting, the ecosystem will collapse. In fact, because of me the Elro Great Labyrinth’s ecosystem is quite warped already. It’s possible that the establishment of the System whereby monsters attack humans will break down.

In that case, should I at least let the clones hunt insects and small animals? I don’t really wanna do that either, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Also, I’ll get those orders from that Blow guy revoked, to get my original food portions restored I guess. Blow – he’s that hoodlum from earlier, right? For him to able to give out orders, that means he’s connected with the master of this mansion. I guess I should expect him to be Balto’s brother or something huh? Given the fact that demons don’t look their age, it’s also possible for him to be a son.

Well, I don’t care about that Blow guy’s identity. He’s done something that should not be done. It’s been often said that to deprive me of food is to invite the wrath of god. I ought to teach him the terror of grudges over food.

Even still, it’s not like what he’s getting at is actually wrong you know. From his point of view I’m basically a freeloader, for one. I am actually conscious of my heavy eating. There’s no helping it, you know. In order to maintain my overly numerous offspring, I gotta eat loads ya see.

Since I’m a guest, even if they reduce the amount, it seems unlikely that they’d do stuff like driving me out from the mansion or refusing to serve me food. I wonder if that hoodlum knows the fact that I’m someone authorised by the Demon King? If he knew I don’t think he’d do this, but I’m not sure. At the least, I reckon that hoodlum didn’t discuss this matter with Balto. For one, Balto was pissing himself over both me and the Demon King. I doubt he’ll oppose me over something so trivial.

Meaning, the most efficient way to solve this is, to go direct to Balto. If I do that I think I’ll be able to regain the original amount of food. But, if I do that then things are going to get worse with that hoodlum. It’s just a feeling, but, that type seems strong when opposing authority. Or maybe I’m being prejudiced. If I appeal to Balto, I could be viewed like a parasite that relies on sucking up to authority. That, sure would be galling.

Thus, on top of making that hoodlum capitulate, I want to brazenly demand food. Then there’s no other way. As that guy demands, I guess I better put some effort in. I secluded myself in my room.

The next day, I went to the castle. When I had asked the mansion’s butler about the hoodlum’s whereabouts, I heard he was normally at the castle.

Thanks to the pass Balto had gotten for me previously, I was able to easily enter the castle. But, after that it got bad. To request a meeting with that hoodlum took some time and I had to wait even longer for the meeting itself. I went to the castle in the morning, yet it was evening by the time I finally got to meet him. Damn red tape.

「What do you want?」

In that voice was unconcealed irritation and tiredness. Th, the heck, he’s working!? When I entered the hoodlum’s office, there was stacks of paperwork totally in contrast to his appearance. You’re a damn hoodlum, what’re you doing desk work for!? The definition of a hoodlum collapses!

「Hey, I’m busy here. Hurry up and state your business.」

Oops. For a minute there I was floored by the shocking scene. To the hoodlum buried in documents, I add a large load of more documents. I take out a heap of documents from another dimension and slam them down.

「I worked. Gimmie food.」

I state my objective directly.

「Huhh?」

The hoodlum says, frowning and dumbfounded. Glancing between me and the additional pile of documents, he reluctantly reaches out for them. Then, he scans over the written contents therein. His eyes that seemed doubting, slowly open wide.

The hoodlum who had been leaning back in his chair, bends forwards while eagerly fixing his eyes on the documents. After going over the first sheet, he hurriedly scans over the next document. He scanned through all the documents at an astonishing speed.

「Just, how… did you do this?」

After finishing the documents, the hoodlum asks that somewhat absent-mindedly. I’m not the type to simply answer that. As if I’d divulge my abilities.

「Secret.」

In response to my answer, the hoodlum scowls slightly, but then quickly glances away. Then, he holds his head as if coming down with a headache.

「Fine. Do what you want at the mansion.」

The hoodlum said that as if in resignation. Heh, I won.

「Are you done? Because of you I’ve got even more work to do.」

With pleasure. It’s not like a mere hoodlum is any match for me. I leave immediately.

What I handed over was useful seeming information from within the demon region, ferreted out by my clones. My request was successful, that sure was some good work done, me. Now that hoodlum can’t denounce me as freeloader. If it’s to preserve my easy life, there’s nothing I won’t do.

Translation notes:

The title is a well known phrase and I used the typical English version of it, except changing he to she – the Japanese version is gender neutral.

Compared to other translations I’ve changed “delinquent” to “hoodlum” – Blow’s image would be a gaudily/roughly dressed and angry/dangerous looking young man.