Crown of Thorns

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea to go out today.”

“Huh?”

I continued to cast my eyes at the disheveled Evan. After the meal, Evan went to sit by the window, trying to feel the light, without me having to say anything. Thanks to the sunlight surrounding Evan, he looked even more white, almost transparent. I stared at his white hair and red eyes and soon turned to the window. Despite the changing future enticed by my different decisions, Evan’s ability was almost at a standstill.

I was getting impatient because there wasn’t much time left, even though I knew I couldn’t help it. I was afraid that I would see the young man who was covered with wounds again, and that I would continue to live a life that would never end alone.

It was better to hurry a little. To seize the opportunity that comes. To send him there, as soon as I see a fence that is not the tower of the witch.

I had to focus on developing his abilities. So I decided to go outside first. In the first place, the idea of educating with limited light was wrong. It was foolish to teach Evan, blessed by the sun, without showing him to the sun.

I hardened my resolve and grabbed Evan’s arm. Evan looked at me with a curious look on his face, but he did not refuse. A black mist covered the both of us and was soon dissipated with clear winds. And instead of the desolate tower, bright sunlight and thick grasses welcomed us.

“Oh? What is this? Have we gone outside? This fast? Just like that?”

Evan looked around in a flash, spouting questions. It was his first time teleporting, so he was trying to check out if the ground under his feet was solid, his gaze full of admiration and excitement. Soon after, he closed his eyes and felt the sun touching him. That relaxed, joyful look lightened my mind, too.

The breaking rays of sunshine were shining brighter around Evan. There was such a quick way for me to come out, but I couldn’t understand what I was so afraid of that I wouldn’t come out.

I looked at Evan leaning against the tower, avoiding the long grass. Evan was standing still to accept the light; perhaps it was because of the sun that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It would be better to let him enjoy his leisure for a while rather than give him a headache with lessons.

Evan seemed to be leaving himself to light and wind, but in fact, he was trying to control the light that had stayed around, just as I had taught him. The amount was so vast that I thought he might definitely improve his skills by himself.

But Evan, who had been doing that for a while, suddenly ran to the tower, cleared up the thorns, and began pushing the stones away. I was about to ask him a question because I didn’t understand why he was going in.

“I came out after a long time, so I’m going to clean this off. Stay here. I’ll be right back. You can’t go anywhere! Okay?”

Evan continued to emphasize, hiding the jar he pulled out behind his back, perhaps he was ashamed to show it to me. I thought it was something for me to say, but I just nodded quietly.

Evan entered the forest, though I eventually sent a shadow to chase after him. But when Evan arrived at the stream, instead of washing the jar, he put it down nearby and went into the water. Come to think of it, Evan had not even been able to wash properly. When I realized why he went there, I quickly removed the shadow.

Gazing at the swarms of floating clouds, for the first time in a long while, I also enjoyed a relaxing time.

Evan returned as I was drinking in the sight of the world, unaware of time. His white hair clung tightly to his cheeks and neck, and his clothes were soaked, so I could hear a rustling sound whenever he took a step. Why was he in so much of a hurry that he didn’t even let his clothes dry?

Anyway, I thought it was lucky that he had returned safely, so I brought a dry cloth and wiped his head. His hair, which seemed too thin and transparent, had dampened with water. I liked the feeling of slipping my fingers through it, so I shook off the water while concentrating as much as I could. Evan, who had been standing still so far, smiled thinly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… You just act so motherly.”

A mother. Yeah, I’m more like a mother now. Not a woman, not a lover. The young man in memory may have seen me like that, but to the boy in front of me now, he saw me in a motherly light at best. What kind of feelings do I have for such a boy? What am I hoping for? I felt hot in the face. It was funny for me to have affection for a warrior, but it was even more embarrassing for me to feel the same way about his younger self, which did not know me as his older self did.

The witch stayed in the past, looking at the future, not the present. No, is this considered staying in the past? Because I’m drawing a young man who remains only in my memory. Am I still stuck in the past?

Because of this indescribable feeling that had overwhelmed me, I could not say anything. Thus, Evan’s voice continued.

“My mom used to drape a towel over my head and shake it just like this when I came back wet. She scolded me, saying that I might get sick if I don’t dry my hair properly. That kind of thing will never happen again, was what I thought…”

Evan’s voice betrayed the loneliness he was feeling. He seemed to also be thinking of a person who only remained in his memories, his mother. Somehow I felt relieved. I’m not the only one who stays in the past.

“Sometimes, memories shackle me. I’m happy to recall those happy feelings, but I’m sad that I can’t go back to those times. I feel fortunate to see them like that, but I think I’d rather forget about them.”

“Do you feel the same too, Nyx?”

When Evan’s question went unanswered, he continued on with a monologue-like banter.

“Oh, you did say that you’ve lived a long time. Then you must have more memories than I do. It must be much more painful and sadder. You get as sad as you are happy when you recall them, and it hurts as much as you miss them… Are you all right?”

Evan’s question stopped my hands, which was shaking the wetness off his hair. He was a young warrior whom I didn’t think would understand a witch. The young man in my memory closed his eyes without fully understanding the witch till the very end. However, the boy in front of me was well aware of the witch’s pain and sorrow. What made him change so much? Was it the change in my behavior that had made this difference?

I nodded at Evan’s frowned brow. The red eyes filled with worries were melting my heart. I couldn’t help it. How can I push away his past, future, or present self?

How can I… how can I hold him so delicately in the broken heart of a witch?

Evan, who roughly shook off his head to dispel the water, sat under the sun and dried himself in the warm sunlight. I had also sat around him and began to read. But not long after, Evan began asking many questions.

“I was wondering, why is it so peaceful around the tower? The Witch’s Forest is so terrifying, but it’s like a different world. Does Nyx know why?”

“Because things that are made with dark powers are kept out. Neither monsters nor black fog that builds up the monster’s power can get in here.”

The tower holds an immortal witch who cannot have been stopped by mere thorn vines. Thanks to this, the witch’s tower was surrounded by a completely different landscape. Evan, who nodded as if he was convinced, asked again.

“Then how do you get in and out? Didn’t they do this to keep you locked in?”

It was because I’m not entirely dark.

But I didn’t answer Evan. His last question hung in the air between us. Though, he kept his mouth shut, not inquiring any further.

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